Valentine’s Day has never really been my jam. I have always felt that it is a way to make single people feel inadequate and uncomfortable and a way for couples to put too much pressure on themselves for yet another “holiday”. A day filled with a mirage of Facebook “look how loved I am- I got flowers” posts. A brag day if you will.
My husband and I have been together for almost ten years and married for almost 3. We have been through a lot of ups and quite a few downs. We have moved 5 times and bought our first home. We have adopted 5 dogs, 3 of which are still with us. We have welcomed one amazingly awesome child into this world. We have had career changes, a failed business, struggles, and joy.
We don’t have the worlds most romantic relationship, that’s just not who we are. What we do have is a pretty darn strong partnership. The foundation of this beautiful and crazy life we have built together is our marriage. Sometimes it is hard to remember to nurture and care for our marriage just as much as all the things we have built on top of it. A marriage is not without flaws but our hope is that we don’t develop cracks large enough to cause what we built to fall.
We still make each other laugh and inspire one another. We also do things to drive each other nuts. I mother too much and he has amnesia as to where the garbage can is (hello garbage on the counter top right above the garbage can!!). It’s cool though. People are not flawless which is why a marriage is not flawless.
Marriage is really hard and a lot of constant work to not become strangers passing in the night. A friend once asked me years ago what my secret was to maintaining a long term relationship. My answer was this: “be in a relationship with someone who is your best friend”.
I guess to me, Valentine’s Day is not about giving gifts or the pressure of a special date. However I have learned that it shouldn’t be ignored. It should be a reminder that there is a foundation that also needs to be nurtured, maybe not today, but let’s not ignore it. Plus it is fun to celebrate all these silly holidays with children. Some how children make everything special and fun and can erase the cynic in just about anyone.
We will be having a quiet dinner tonight at home watching SJ open his gift (stickers from the dollar store). I bought my husband a card to tell him that I appreciate him today and every day. Then once SJ goes to sleep, we will rent a movie and relax. How is everyone else spending their Valentine’s Day?