The nurse returned from calling the doctor maybe 5 minutes later. She waltzed in moving quickly with lots of gear in her arms. She announced “we are prepping you for surgery”. I couldn’t believe it happened that quickly. I thought the doctor would come by and we would discuss but I guess when they make the call to do a c-section they move very quickly. I barely had time to process what was happening which was probably a good thing. They put big warming pads on both of my legs to help with the circulation since I would be getting up in a long time. They moved my bed and wheeled me away. It is the weirdest feeling being wheeled through a hospital in a bed, you can’t see anything, and you have no idea in which direction or where you are heading. The anthesologist was following quickly behind. At this point though I started to shake pretty uncontrollably. I guess I was starting to have a reaction to the stronger epidural which is very common. The nurses kept asking me if I was nervous and surprisingly I was not. I was just ready for the day to be over and to meet me baby.
My husband had to put on his scrubs as they wheeled me into the OR. The anthesologist got in position behind to work his magic. I couldn’t feel anything he was doing. He might have been putting stuff through my IV, I am not really sure. Up went the curtain so I couldn’t see anything that was going on. They announced they wouldn’t start surgery until I couldn’t feel a thing. The anthesologist would press on my tummy and if I could feel anything, even slightly, they wouldn’t start. This went on for maybe 5 minutes and then it was time. I don’t think I even knew when they started. All I know is that about 6 minutes later I heard the best noise I have ever heard in my entire life, a loud rippling cry. Then I heard the doctor say “wow that is a HUGE baby!”. There you were, out in the world, I was dying to see you. My husband got to see him first of course as they weighed him in, 8 pounds and 11 ounces. No wonder you wouldn’t come out! I kept saying “I want to see!” so they wrapped you up and gave you to Dad and Dad brought you over to me. I couldn’t hold the baby yet so he just showed him to me. I have to say, my first thought was “holy cone head”. Seriously. Poor kid tried so hard to come out he was just way to big! But my SJ you were so beautiful. I had tried to picture my entire pregnancy what you would look like and you just surpassed all my wildest imaginations. You were and still are absolute perfection. I was in shock and I was in love.
My husband had to quickly leave with the baby to get cleaned up. His family had literally just arrived at the hospital when Steve, SJ, and one of the baby nurses whizzed by on the way to the nursery. His family got to see him get cleaned up through the glass which must have been so cool. While this was happening I was getting stitched back up while the doctors chatted about their days like I wasn’t even laying there. It felt lonely to be left there, I wanted to be where the action was, where my baby was.
Once they finished sewing me back together, they moved me to a recovery area of the OR. I kept saying over and over to the point of annoyance that I wanted to hold my baby. I was extremely worried that everyone was going to get to hold him before me. I wanted to be on the first people to spend time with him and I also thought he might be scared since I am the only person he knew so far. We had a bond that we formed over the past 9 months. They informed me you aren’t supposed to hold the baby for an hour after surgery but I think I was so annoying they finally just said “fine get her the baby”. Ha!
Once they handed you to me, I didn’t put you down all night except for when you got your first diaper changed. I slept with you in my arms. Everyone thought I was crazy having surgery and holding a baby all night but I didn’t mind. I stayed up all night just staring at you and loving you. I felt an overwelming sense of motherly instinct. You literally just know exactly what to do when someone hands you your baby, it is really quite cool. You were my baby and I was going to protect you and love you.
I won’t go into all my recovery details because the recovery was pretty rough. Let’s just say I was terrified to even have to go to the bathroom. The thought of standing up and walking the 2 feet to the bathroom was so scary it would bring me to tears. I had a friend try to tell me that she left the hospital the next day after having a c-section and she is the biggest fattest liar. No joke. The recovery is intense and very painful. The two most difficult things about having a c-section is the recovery and not being able to hold your baby the second he/she is born. In the end it was all worth it to have my beautiful healthy baby boy.